Girl, you’re in your thirties now; you’ve gone and had your fun
In case you haven’t worked it out, your carefree youth is done
You’ve got new healthy habits to form, unhealthy ones to swear off
Above all this, girl, you need something to take care of

I got a plant, just a common household cactus
Such an undemanding plant, just for fun, just for practice
I was kind to the plant, kept it green, kept it growing
Gave it soil, gave it light, played it Mozart and Beethoven
But it died very slowly, like a pincushion imploding
It had needs I wasn’t previously aware of
When I needed something to take care of

I got a cat, a little furball who loved to play
Very photogenic cat, slightly deformed but in a cute way
I fed it treats, I taught it tricks, ran a social media page just for that cat
I printed merch, hired it managers and agents
But despite all my labors, it ran off to the neighbors’
To this day, they will not say what it was scared of
When I needed something to take care of

Girl, you’re in your thirties now; the end is close at hand
Young people are using slang words you don’t understand
But before you call death to the chessboard for that final stare-off
Remember this, girl, you need something to take care of

I got a child from the black market in Russia
Her mom and dad were both on meth, it didn’t take too much discussion
I told my friends she was mine, named her Kim like Deal and Gordon
Read her books, bought her drums and all the best obscure recordings
At the mall is where I lost her; the next morning, the cops were at my door
Asking, “is this yours?” as if I was some kind of monster
“But I’m not,” I tried to say as they were dragging me away
“You see, biology has programmed me to share love
And I needed something to take care of”


from This was Inevitable, released October 18, 2019


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