Super Tall Guy (at The Front Of The Show)

from by Glassberg & The Disasters



I roll up to the club looking dressed for the scene
Got my button-down shirt and my skinniest jeans
I walk through the door, all eyes on me as I enter
Make my way to the stage, find the spot at the center
The lights go down, the crowd starts clapping
When suddenly from behind me I feel this persistent tapping
As a voice originating somewhere around my knee
says “Could you please move back so that I can see?”
Well, it wouldn’t make a difference to my own line of sight
I could be standing anywhere and I’d still be alright
But I don’t even turn around as I say “hell no”
I’m the super-tall guy at the front of the show

I know what you’re hoping and I know what you’re wishing
But I’d be giving in if I gave up my position
‘Cause if we traded places, you wouldn’t appreciate this
close-up look at the setlist, or the sweat on the bassist
You think that you get their discography better than me? I doubt it
You’re probably only here because your boyfriend told you ‘bout it
If you sit on his shoulders, then I bet you could manage
But you won’t get special treatment just ‘cause you’re disadvantaged
I don’t know why suddenly I’m the asshole
with you shorties always whining, always causing me hassle
It’s not like as a child I decided to grow
I’m the super-tall guy at the front of the show

...and I mean, seriously, you think it’s that advantageous
To reach things up on shelves or see musicians on stages?
If you were this height, you’d hardly find it appealing
getting leg cramps on planes, hitting your head on low ceilings
But you’ll never ever hear the mainstream media addressing
the inconvenient narrative of tall-guy oppression
Those diminutive bitches’re only preaching to the choir
Have you ever seen a journalist who’s six feet or higher?
So enough with back-row exile and forced decorum
I’m gonna take my grievances to an internet forum
‘Cause if we band together, the world can’t ignore us
At shows we’ll stand together just like trees in a forest
I know that it’s a stretch but try to see it from my point of view:
What’s the point of having stuff if everyone else can have it too?
Hey, with that attitude I’d be a great CEO
I’m the super-tall guy at the front of the show


from This was Inevitable, released October 18, 2019


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